Feedback on 0.952

[arachni42]

Hey there! I've been playing through version 0.952. I'm only part of the way through, but since you requested feedback I've been taking notes, and I decided I should write up what I have so far. Overall, I'm impressed.

General comments:
--I like the way the visuals are done. It's got a cinematic feel that makes things interesting. I dig it.
--I like the way blurring is used in the backgrounds.
--I like the way each line of text turns gray as you progress.
--Good job everyone on the voice acting.
--I was confused about why, at the end of some lines of text, there's a file icon instead of an arrow. It took me a long time to figure out that it just signifies a new page/screen. I think that a simple icon that's a dot or square would be better.
--It's not clear at first the way color is used for other people speaking. This might be in part because the first one (Karl, on the boat) is red. I thought there might be some special, sinister significance, but that doesn't seem to be the case.
-- The text is a bit hard to read on some of the busier backgrounds.... although... they are very cool backgrounds, so I wouldn't necessarily want to see them covered by a darker text box. But I made note of it.
--When the first choice came up, I was confused, wondering why the text wasn't advancing, until I realized they were choices. Maybe more visual indication would be helpful.
--One of the Known Issues is musical cues, so I'm assuming music is unfinished. The lack of music in many scenes was conspicuous (although there are a few where silence would be appropriate). The lack of music/sound on the title screen is also kind of disconcerting. (I never even realized how much my brain is trained to expect to hear something.)

Bugs:
--The first time Reme appears, the boat in the background jumps.
--At the end of the docks scene with Salima, when the background transitions the transparency shows through.
--There's a typo after choosing to find post office: "dscend along both sides of the foyer"
--With Salima at the beach, starting with "as I approach a tree, about seven or eight meters away", a bright pixel appears in the upper center. It persists while the screen turns red until zoomed in ("Wh-what are you doing?"). (You know, I find myself very curious what caused a single pixel to go awry. )
--A couple pages of text overflow: when discussing the prescription for the cat ("Is he sick?"), when she gets home and is painting ("Letting out a sigh due to my broken concentration"), and some other points when talking to Karl (I didn't write down the lines).

Other thoughts I had as a played through:
--When we see Reme, the description says he "continues excitedly," but the way the line "Hey, I've been trying to get ahold of you..." is voice-acted doesn't sound that way. I like the way it was acted -- glad, but tinged with an intriguing concern/uncertainty... But it didn't quite jibe with the word "excitedly."
--The line "constant sound of gulls" is definitely in need of sound effects.
--When everything turns red around Salima, it's a neat visual. (Although I feel like there should be a sound effect to accompany it.)
--I feel like Elena's "verbal tick" should be audible. Not sure if that's doable as this point, but it's something I made note of. ^_^
--The first time at the flower shop after ringing the bell, Eva's sprite flashing for a second seemed like a bug. Maybe some up-down movement would help?
--I like the behind-the-counter sprites.
--near-by = nearby
--When Nina comes to the door with a crowbar, seeing her sprite gave me the impression that she came into the room. But then she asks to come in.
--With Salima at the beach, the zooming in with her sprite staying the same size is really cool. It seems okay for some of this scene to have no music.
--When talking about the fire, I think some fire imagery would be appropriate. Not necessarily a full background, but maybe some sort of overlay? Some more animation in this scene wouldn't hurt, either.
--I love the animation of the Salima sprite zipping out and in. Cool sound effect, too.
--I also love the animation of Nina drunk. The tilting to the side then correcting herself is perfect.
--After going out then returning to the boarding house, it's described as being very dark, with only a couple windows lit. This contradicts the background, in which all windows are lit.
--The music for this scene is slow and subdued, slowly building... which is good for the beginning, but once the cat is found, something more frantic should be playing. (The later part of this track is a bit more appropriate, though the faster part would need to be on loop.) As it is now, the mood doesn't seem right.
--Aw, Salima looks so cute with her hair down. (Though she looks cute with her hair up, as well.)
--Hey, when did the main menu background change?? Stealthy...

And that's as far as I've gotten. I hope this has been helpful. I'm happy to have backed this project.

[RonK]

Thank you for your efforts! Allow me to respond in kind...

--It's not clear at first the way color is used for other people speaking. This might be in part because the first one (Karl, on the boat) is red. I thought there might be some special, sinister significance, but that doesn't seem to be the case.

Colored text was used merely as a means of helping the reader distinguish at a glance which spoken dialog belonged to a character other than Lira. The colors themselves are typically just assigned on a first-come-first-serve basis during any given scene.

We thought about assigning specific colors to specific characters. But as of now, that would require a lot of manual editing. If enough people like the idea, we can implement it, but it'll have to go on the, "It'll be nice...someday" pile.

--When the first choice came up, I was confused, wondering why the text wasn't advancing, until I realized they were choices. Maybe more visual indication would be helpful.

That's actually a result of our own personal preferences. We've never liked when dialog stops and presents the reader with buttons to click—reminding them that they're playing a game. We wanted choices to more organically fit into the flow of the dialog.

--One of the Known Issues is musical cues, so I'm assuming music is unfinished. The lack of music in many scenes was conspicuous (although there are a few where silence would be appropriate). The lack of music/sound on the title screen is also kind of disconcerting. (I never even realized how much my brain is trained to expect to hear something.)

Right now, pretty much the only spots that have appropriately-utilized music are during the climax scenes of...well, you'll probably notice once you reach them.

--The first time Reme appears, the boat in the background jumps.
--At the end of the docks scene with Salima, when the background transitions the transparency shows through.
--There's a typo after choosing to find post office: "dscend along both sides of the foyer"

All corrected in the new build.

In fact, the new build redoes much of the "direction" during the first few scenes. Basically from the Prologue until Lira meets Salima for the first time.

--With Salima at the beach, starting with "as I approach a tree, about seven or eight meters away", a bright pixel appears in the upper center. It persists while the screen turns red until zoomed in ("Wh-what are you doing?"). (You know, I find myself very curious what caused a single pixel to go awry. )

I don't recall seeing anything like that. It may be due to a graphics driver issue. I'll check the 0.952 exe and my dev build to see if I can spot it.

--When we see Reme, the description says he "continues excitedly," but the way the line "Hey, I've been trying to get ahold of you..." is voice-acted doesn't sound that way. I like the way it was acted -- glad, but tinged with an intriguing concern/uncertainty... But it didn't quite jibe with the word "excitedly."

Changed to "with some trepidation."

--The first time at the flower shop after ringing the bell, Eva's sprite flashing for a second seemed like a bug. Maybe some up-down movement would help?

Yeah. That, plus shortly thereafter, when Noel comes charging out of the back room needs some additional motion. They're on the "It'll be nice...someday" pile.

--near-by = nearby

Looks like there were three instances of that in the script. All changed now.

--When Nina comes to the door with a crowbar, seeing her sprite gave me the impression that she came into the room. But then she asks to come in.

Hmm. Well, the conversation takes places right at the threshold of the room. Either we use the background of Lira's room, or we use the background of the hallway. In this case, if I recall correctly, we placed the camera as far as it could go to the right side of the frame, and we placed Nina's sprite as far to the right as well—to try and imply she hadn't actually entered the room. But we may be able to fake something. Perhaps a "door jamb" overlay graphic that we can place in front of the hallway background...

--When talking about the fire, I think some fire imagery would be appropriate. Not necessarily a full background, but maybe some sort of overlay?

Agreed. To the "It'll be nice...someday" pile with you!

--After going out then returning to the boarding house, it's described as being very dark, with only a couple windows lit. This contradicts the background, in which all windows are lit.

Limitations of our resources. And believe me, that's the sort of thing that bugs me as well. Just wait till you get to later scenes which describe how the streets are jam packed with people and yet our backgrounds are utterly devoid of people.

--The music for this scene is slow and subdued, slowly building... which is good for the beginning, but once the cat is found, something more frantic should be playing. (The later part of this track is a bit more appropriate, though the faster part would need to be on loop.) As it is now, the mood doesn't seem right.

Absolutely agree. It's an artifact left over from when we replaced our temp track with the final track—it doesn't fit quite the same way that the original did. Which is why I mentioned the need to go back and re-evaluate where all the music is, how long it plays, when it loops, when it stops, etc.

--Aw, Salima looks so cute with her hair down. (Though she looks cute with her hair up, as well.)
--Hey, when did the main menu background change?? Stealthy...

Sounds like you're very close to Salima's denouement—which is French for "when we finish off the bad guy".

And yes, the main menu gradually gets darker the further along you go in the story. It will eventually reset back to day time once you reach a new character branch.

--I like the behind-the-counter sprites.

It's something that I see done very rarely. Thanks to Owen's efforts on the backgrounds and appropriate perspective, it gives us the chance to actually place our sprites IN the scenes—and even provide a little bit of "interaction" between the two.

I'm actually a little ticked that we didn't think a bit further ahead and generate some sprites from "behind" (something that Da Capo II used to excellent effect).

--With Salima at the beach, the zooming in with her sprite staying the same size is really cool.

Ditto above.

Actually, zooming the backgrounds with full body sprites, while keeping the sprites firmly planted in the same location is surprisingly time consuming—it's all a matter of trial and error. So yeah...I think we only do it twice in the game. BUT, that being said, I always try to remain cognizant of the fact that the text provides my "direction". If nothing in the text implies any such movement, then there's no call for such an effect.

There's quite a few spots throughout the game where we might use an effect once or twice—because it's appropriate—and that's it.

--I like the way the visuals are done. It's got a cinematic feel that makes things interesting. I dig it.
--I like the way blurring is used in the backgrounds

Thank you.

I've said it before and I'll continue to say it: Visual Novels are a medium through which a story can be told. We want to use every resource available to use to create something visually stimulating. Realistically, this should play out more like an "animatic" than a slide show.

Oh, that reminds me—we also have a new "Professor Cassandra" segment which will be added to an "Extras" menu. She'll take the time to explain about our Preferences menu and how certain branches aren't implemented yet.

[MikeS]

Colored text was used merely as a means of helping the reader distinguish at a glance which spoken dialog belonged to a character other than Lira. The colors themselves are typically just assigned on a first-come-first-serve basis during any given scene.

We thought about assigning specific colors to specific characters. But as of now, that would require a lot of manual editing. If enough people like the idea, we can implement it, but it'll have to go on the, "It'll be nice...someday" pile.

As I recall, I voted in favor of assigning colors to characters fairly early on.

--With Salima at the beach, starting with "as I approach a tree, about seven or eight meters away", a bright pixel appears in the upper center. It persists while the screen turns red until zoomed in ("Wh-what are you doing?"). (You know, I find myself very curious what caused a single pixel to go awry. )

I don't recall seeing anything like that. It may be due to a graphics driver issue. I'll check the 0.952 exe and my dev build to see if I can spot it.

I don't remember seeing it, but then I only went through that version of the scene fairly quickly. Is Salima small and in the center of the screen at the time? Could be a dirty sprite (IOW, a spot of something above her in an area that should be transparent).

Agreed. To the "It'll be nice...someday" pile with you!

It should be noted that it's a rather sizable pile already. What is it they say about the last 10% of the project requiring 90% of the work?

[arachni42]

We thought about assigning specific colors to specific characters. But as of now, that would require a lot of manual editing. If enough people like the idea, we can implement it, but it'll have to go on the, "It'll be nice...someday" pile.

I do think the color helps. I think I was only taken aback because red some other meanings as a color (as opposed to say, blue). Specific colors for specific characters would be good, but since it would take a lot of effort at this point, it does seem appropriate for the "nice... someday" pile. ^_^

That's actually a result of our own personal preferences. We've never liked when dialog stops and presents the reader with buttons to click—reminding them that they're playing a game. We wanted choices to more organically fit into the flow of the dialog.

Ah, interesting. I think some of the choices have ellipses in front, which serves as a cue, but those first choices don't. It is better than big buttons, though.

In fact, the new build redoes much of the "direction" during the first few scenes. Basically from the Prologue until Lira meets Salima for the first time.

Ooh, I'll definitely have to play through that part again in the new build. Like I've said, I think the directing in this VN is neat.

--With Salima at the beach, starting with "as I approach a tree, about seven or eight meters away", a bright pixel appears in the upper center. It persists while the screen turns red until zoomed in ("Wh-what are you doing?").

I don't recall seeing anything like that. It may be due to a graphics driver issue. I'll check the 0.952 exe and my dev build to see if I can spot it.

I had actually thought it was a hot pixel on my laptop. But then when it went away, I went back through that part again, and found it to be consistent on my machine. Could certainly be a machine-specific issue -- I checked just now, and it's only present in full screen, not in windowed mode. And honestly, I'm not sure how many other people would notice such a thing. (I spend a lot of my time working with web pages and Photoshop, so my eyes are always about 5 inches from the screen and looking for stray pixels, divs that are not quite aligned, etc.)

And yes, Salima is small and in the center of the screen at the time.

Hmm. Well, the conversation takes places right at the threshold of the room. Either we use the background of Lira's room, or we use the background of the hallway. In this case, if I recall correctly, we placed the camera as far as it could go to the right side of the frame, and we placed Nina's sprite as far to the right as well—to try and imply she hadn't actually entered the room. But we may be able to fake something. Perhaps a "door jamb" overlay graphic that we can place in front of the hallway background...

Yeah, it's tricky... I can see why it's done the way it is. Hmm, door jamb, like having a split screen, one side room, one side hallway?

Limitations of our resources. And believe me, that's the sort of thing that bugs me as well. Just wait till you get to later scenes which describe how the streets are jam packed with people and yet our backgrounds are utterly devoid of people.

Not surprising... though for some reason empty streets crowded with people bothers me less than light dark boarding house... but probably because I'm more used to the former. I can suspend disbelief.

And yes, the main menu gradually gets darker the further along you go in the story. It will eventually reset back to day time once you reach a new character branch.

I like that. It was very unexpected.

Actually, zooming the backgrounds with full body sprites, while keeping the sprites firmly planted in the same location is surprisingly time consuming

Interesting... It's fine that it's in just a couple places; I think it's used to good effect.

I've said it before and I'll continue to say it: Visual Novels are a medium through which a story can be told. We want to use every resource available to use to create something visually stimulating.

And your effort shows.

Oh, that reminds me—we also have a new "Professor Cassandra" segment which will be added to an "Extras" menu. She'll take the time to explain about our Preferences menu and how certain branches aren't implemented yet.

Cool; I'm glad my comment I was helpful. And thanks for reading through my impressions.

Agreed. To the "It'll be nice...someday" pile with you!

It should be noted that it's a rather sizable pile already. What is it they say about the last 10% of the project requiring 90% of the work?

I know what you mean. That's probably why I never do the last 10% of any of my own projects. ^_^

[RonK]

I had actually thought it was a hot pixel on my laptop. But then when it went away, I went back through that part again, and found it to be consistent on my machine. Could certainly be a machine-specific issue -- I checked just now, and it's only present in full screen, not in windowed mode. And honestly, I'm not sure how many other people would notice such a thing. (I spend a lot of my time working with web pages and Photoshop, so my eyes are always about 5 inches from the screen and looking for stray pixels, divs that are not quite aligned, etc.)

And yes, Salima is small and in the center of the screen at the time.

Figured out what it is you're seeing.

So, we use a "paper doll" system where we composite together the sprites we need by declaring certain variables at the beginning of a scene. Which means, most of our piece-parts are PNG files with transparency. One of Salima's files appears to have a pixel (or perhaps a small grouping of pixels) in the upper left corner still visible.

As far as I can tell, it's only on the "head on" versions of the sprite. AND, under most circumstances, the upper left border of our NVL window actually covers over said pixel(s)—so it's not visible most of the time. I finally noticed it during a scene in which the camera pans up and down a couple of times, and I could see the pixel emerge from underneath the NVL window.

Now it's just a matter of figuring out which specific file actually has the problem...